So, basically, what I didn’t know then has been a relentless path full of insanity, horrible choices that only led to more and countless unlearned situations I could have made lessons to not repeat or to possibly grown from. Not me, not my life. The hurt, pain, turmoil, abuse, eventually became normalcy for me because I expected things to always go wrong and impact me in the most negative ways possible; and that was how it was. I never had friends they school and when I did, I never brought them home. I feared the humiliation that I knew would occur with my drunk father.