During one beating he choked me so hard and long I thought this is it I’m going to die. He let go and I gasped for air as I slid down th cabinets in the bathroom. What ever set him off I can’t remember most of the times.
I rarely spoke or saw my family anymore because of how ashamed I was with bruises constantly visible. His narcissistic ways were working in his favor by cutting me off from family and friends. He never had $ nor would give me any. So I learned to go without just about every basic thing. I sat at home day after day shoving meth up my nose because it numbed my pain, worry, responsibilities, etc…. I was a zombie. It was my way of not having to think of my situation I was in. I didn’t know I could just leave. The early 80’s domestic violence really had no importance. Trust me I know. When I did call police for help they did nothing. Tried lecturing us and then they left. This was a useless choice because I never received any information to assist in leaving him.
Bruises already forming on my arm. I didn’t try to fight back because it would make him angrier.so for a brief time I thought just going through it, say nothing would make him think. Make him feel bad he keeps hurting me and stop!well no such luck what a silly idea that was.
I was a walking bruise. Of course, if anyone asked how it happened I would lie and makeup stories. Although deep down I always felt people knew I was lying.