This marriage was far from typical and dysfunctional; I didn’t comprehend this then. I was continually struggling to learn what was awry with me. Why did I give rise to his anger? Why couldn’t I get Husband #1 to love me? Why wouldn’t he quit dealing drugs as he vowed to before our daughter was born? Why wouldn’t he get a legal income and halt living off my welfare? Marriage was far from ordinary and highly dysfunctional. I didn’t understand this then. I was continuously attempting to unravel what was false with me. Why did I bring about him so hateful that he beat on me? Why couldn’t I bring Husband #1 to love me? Why wouldn’t he stop dealing drugs like he promised before our daughter was born? Why wouldn’t he get a legal income and stop living off my welfare?
AGAINST MY SOUL 