I know how it feels to not appreciate Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, Birthdays, anniversaries and any other important moments in life.
Both husbands I allowed (to a point) to steal life from me and my children. When it was happening I could not see it. EVERY TIME we were suppose to be at a family members home to celebrate we would end up not going.
I understand this was part of the isolation game from the narcissistic, psychological husbands.
We never showed because for whatever reason I received a beating. A physical torment that would leave me with noticeable bruising or cuts.