My family was not parallel to anyone I knew; mine was in perpetual turmoil from my parents and domestic abuse. There is no dysfunction without addiction tearing through and all its recognition. Shredding away at anything adequate or any probabilities to have any normality. I didn’t assimilate why aspects of life were like this, nor did I have the capacity to make sense of it all.
I was ashamed of my father’s habits. Drunkness on a daily basis acquiring the nastiest angers of hate. I loathed him for hurting my mom, for not allowing me to go or do anything with girlfriends, not being able to bring a friend home for the unsurity of how drunk he’d be.
I became incredibly angry, insecure, felt less than, unworthy to accomplish much to make him happy and proud of me.