TRIGGERS (continued)

When I realize something triggered my soul it comes in many forms. I have this fear of abandonment. I really trust very few people in my world and that is difficult. I can begin a scenario in my head about anything if I feel I’m being lied to, cheated on, etc… if my husband takes an xtra shift at work my head will spin. Because the past husbands were dirty, lying, cheating abusive to me most of the time. Today I understand this and work through it. Although I’ve lost so many years spinning out from the trauma. Recently I have started having nightmares of the ugly past. So bad that my husband will wake me. I will sit up, scream, yell kick, like I’m fighting someone. now I wake in the morning in full anxiety mode. I can’t catch my breath, my chest is heavy. On and on. Yes I work through it all. That’s the positive part I suppose.

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