Occasionally I can’t decide my memories. Which are substantial memories and flashbacks due to TRAUMA. An example is just now I recalled a Great Dane dog my family had when I was about 4 years old. I’m trying to remember his name, but I can not. I discern fear for our dog. Numerous times my dad would shriek at the dog over and over. I can think back to catching a glimpse of this from the back door of our house in Colorado. I felt hurt but was not able to place the HURT at four. Now I comprehend that FEAR & HURT involved both. It influenced our dog as well as me. My dad was cruel. He roared and whack the dog multiple I times.
Now this flashback occurred a considerable number of years after our dog remembering above. My first vituperative husband who imposed the stage for my further relationships, did this to me. THIS being I was 7 months pregnant when he lunged from across our bedroom to kick me directly in my belly. We had been arguing about why he felt the hunger to flee me again pregnant and isolated. He felt selling illegal drugs was more crucial than being at home. Following his kick I dropped to my knees attempting to cover my huge belly to defend my baby. I was so horrified I did not care about him or anything except my unborn child.
AGAINST MY SOUL 