I nevertheless labor through all I surrendered within myself for so many years. I know I must stop and acknowledge my behavior toward my cherished ones as well as myself. My life account will always remain what it was and what it is. There are the problems I persist to validate my trauma with. Of course, I desired could have figured out what was transpiring to me during my marriage and the bodily abuse. Hoped that I could have conquered it all when I was youthful. This was not the case. Until a few years ago I learned nothing of trauma. The beatings I’d tolerated, the persistent apprehension of what will transpire next. The slow rupture of my boundaries as each ex-husband chipped away against my soul. I presumed I comprehended then how to appease the sociopaths I married. Resulting in being very mistaken about how I addressed everything. When I label these ex-husbands as sociopaths; I do not nonchalantly compose this. Trust me I don’t require a college degree to connect the dots today. My life today is captivating. Although I continue to undergo the condition I’ve been diagnosed with…PTSD. I’m learning how to function through junctures of flashbacks, pushing to recall periods when I was abused and why? I understand now a large part of my past was not what I created nor deserved.